adventure misadventure in China (It’s Funny)
Hello, welcome to my blog, my name is Daniel!
It’s a well-known fact that when you go abroad, you will probably get sick; that’s a given.
In fact, I didn’t get real sick my first time in China, but, my second time; I was dying, at least at the time. And a lot of times people at Lincoln University, ask me about the doctors and hospitals in China. So to answer this I always reply as thus:
In America we always want the Asian doctors to see us, but in Asia, we always want the American doctors.
So true story: My Hospital Misadventure in China.
It all started with the…
Truthfully, to this day, I still don’t know how I got sick, they wouldn’t tell me. But I’m alive.
But let’s say it was the weather, or the street food, or my daily dosage of pollution lol. Regardless of the cause, I was sick, terminal, and suffering.
I always thought,” I’m a man, a 6-foot tall, heavy set, black man. I’m not going to no doctor. (yes, I mean it how I said it. I, ain’t going to NO doctor)”
But when I couldn’t walk straight, I told my program advisor, bring me to the doctor quick, I’m not dying in China. And so we went to the campus doctor: oh and my little Hispanic sister from Texas came with.
The doctor said I was terminally ill… (X_X)
Nah I’m just kidding, but, they told me I had to go to a hospital because I had a 104 degrees (Fahrenheit/39.8 Celsius) fever, and might have to take an ice bath, in which case, I’m gonna die, because I’m not getting an ice bath. And for the doctor to touch my head and take my temperature, it cost me 120 RMB/almost $20!!!
That’s the American price
Sidebar: always go with a Chinese person, so you can get the Chinese discount. The front desk clerk was going to charge my program advisor 100 RMB, but 120 RMB since it was for “international students,” if I went alone, maybe it would have been 200 RMB!!
So, we went to the hospital, and my program advisor made me, a sick dying student, pay for the cab ride to the hospital. *ripped off again*
Once we got there, the front desk clerk, stared at me for like 3 minutes, before taking the next person on line, “come on lady never seen a sick black guy?”
And just to go to Step 1 was 50 RMB!
Was to talk to the doctor and discuss my symptoms. The hell started here; first of all, I’m competent in Chinese, why are you going to ask the front desk lady, then the clerk what symptoms I have? They aren’t me, ask me lol. Then she said I have to go back and pay again. Because it was 50 RMB to get in the hospital, her personal fee was 10 RMB.
Then she pulled out a needle (X_X) and drew blood, which I don’t like, or trust needles, or doctors, especially foreign doctors using foreign needles.
Afterwards she said ok, go to Step 2:
Was to go fill out paperwork, which cost me another 20 RMB! Even worse than the hospital scams, was the constant, upstairs-down stairs climbing, between steps.
I was freaking my arm fell off? Do I still have to do the steps???
After filling out paperwork for 15 minutes, we went to get an X-ray. And here I asked my program advisor, what the hell? An X-ray for what” I have a fever that’s all. But the hospital insisted, (by the way, it was a small district hospital, not a big fancy international hospital).
After the (naked (X_X)) X-ray, we sat for another 10 minutes, and I was drifting in and out of consciousness. When they finished, they asked me if I wanted to purchase the copy of the x-ray results for an additional 50 RMB… I know, it’s ridiculous.
But it gets better.
After the finished x-ray, I get called back to step 1, for consultation. She said she found nothing in my blood, but then then she said, they wanted to check in case, I got a disease from a mosquito, so guess what? Another 20 RMB! Are you keeping count of the money? Cause I wasn’t.
She took another 3 capsules of blood from me, and it was probably the same needle. I want to say here, when doctors back in the U.S. give you a shot, they have gloves, open the needle in front of you, etc., she had one glove on, and the needle was open. (X_X).
We then proceeded to step 3
We walked across the hospital to H building, which was a hike, and saw the doctor. Okay, we went inside, where the front desk clerk said us, “did you pay at the front desk (X_X)?”
*Which front desk? I’ve been paying all day*
I went back to the Step 2 front desk lady, it was another 30 RMB, and by now, my money was almost gone. So we hiked back to the H building after paying, and I wanted to say this again:
the heck are you guys running if my arm fell off? Am I still walking all over this hospital??
Once in step 3, they said I need another shot, it’s a vaccine. So, I pull my sleeve up again, and who walks in? Doctor from step 2! She tells me, the shot…
My butt!! Yeah, I had to get the shot on my bottom right cheek. And it hurt like a son of a gun.
Probably the same needle too…
After she stuck me, we went to step 4, now I was wide awake after holding my butt tight (T_T).
Final Step! Step 4
This step was the most expensive: the 250 RMB for the *infamous* Chinese IV Drip.
Now I’m over-reacting at this point, “WTH,” “more money,” “are you trying to kill me,” “I’m dying,” etc.
But, my little sister paid for it.
***Bless her heart***
After you pay, they stick you with the needle, and hand you the bag with the meds in it?????????
I’m like, “oh god, I’m so dead. They gave me the bag? What is this stuff? I don’t have a IV Drip walker. What the
I thought, okay, at least I can lay down and get some rest, because I started at the Step 1 University doctor at 10 am it was now already 6 pm.
But no, it gets good again.
No beds! Nope: no bed for me. Instead there were hundreds of chairs around in a vast room full of sickies.
Every 3 chairs had a divider or boarder, but this was only for the middle seats, and almost every chair was full. And guess what else? Never mind the fact, we’re all sick, they stared at the foreigner lol: I forgot about that part. The only available seats were in the middle… of the entire room. And once I sat down, and hooked up my IV drip set, all eyes on me.
You have got to be kidding…
Nope, so, I thought “if I close my eyes, and go to sleep, they won’t be there.”
Seriously…In the hospital, people were getting out of their chairs to take a look at me? Aren’t y’all all dying too?
After an hour, the IV drip was done, and there was no checkout!! Once your drip is done, get out, and leave your drip there, a nurse will go get it. So, “what was my illness?” “What did you give me?” I asked, “go to step 2,” was her answer.
“no more steps”
And we left, so to this day, I don’t know what I had, or what I took. But whatever I took, it worked. I left that scam-village feeling like a new man. But, I had one more scam in store.
I had to pay for the ride home.
(If anyone has a story about their experiences in Asia, leave a comment about it. I’m interested to read them). Thanks for reading